Barking Mad!

The squally rain was never fun when it was pebble-dashing your face, helped on by a bitterly cold wind. But it was a common local weather condition and many of the nearby populace of Bolton were used to it. “That fine drizzle”, some would say, “the one that’ll wet you through!” Which was an ironic statement given that any rainwater was likely to wet one entirely. But then that helped define if one would get “soaked” or “ a bit damp”. Regardless, everyone knew the various types of rain and the resulting dampness conditions.

John certainly was aware, having lived all his life in his hometown. He was used to the rain and tugged his flat cap downwards to protect his face, though his grey beard was clearly catching water droplets. Whilst his beard got wet, John contemplated how he’d have to head to the barbers soon for a trim. His local barbers that he knew so well, though indeed he knew all this area so well. So it came quite a shock for him when he learned some new information about the public pathway at the bottom of his street.

He strolled along the pathway now, with his faithful beagle ‘Bounty’ by his side. Letting the grandkids name the dog had resulted in her being called after their grandmother’s favourite chocolate bar. It had been a fun joke for a while, except for those taking Bounty for a walk and needing to shout her name. Which, in fact, was only John being the sole Bounty walker. And sometimes Bounty hunter, when she wandered off. The pathway he was walking along he’d taken with Bounty for many years, but recently a posting on social media by a local group had alerted him to the connection to the old railway line that ran through the area. John knew some history of these, coming out of the Industrial Revolution’s time in the mid-1800s, when there was a need to connect local mines to deliver coal to the numerous textile mills that sprung up around the area. John had never realised how close one rail route had been to his home. He noticed anew the stonework of the wall that he walked past so many times, with a distinctive red brick colour and style. He’d never paid attention to its age, normally because of it being covered in graffiti or stinking of urine- these pathways were not a place to frequent after dark. But a map on the social media posting had clearly shown the route of the railway line, a nearby sidings and shed where engines had been stored, and the pathway to the local station for which he was now heading.

He crossed over the main road at Plodder Lane, using the zebra crossing due to the heavy traffic that was on the road. Once over, he continued on the public pathway, down into an area where the path passed through a green area, with bushes and trees by the lefthand side. Although once an area of nature, at least once the rails had been removed, now it was also a dumping ground with litter, a supermarket trolley and other items intermixed with the bushes. It was a shame and a disgrace. The younger generations had no respect for anything, John reflected.

Bounty kept pulling on her lead and John gently tugged her to heel with a soft command in his voice. For a beagle she was relatively well trained - as much as could be for a dog breed notoriously untrainable. But there were moments when she decided she was the mistress and would do her own thing. As they walked the path of the old railway line, this seemed one of those moments. John decided he’d let Bounty off her lead to have a small run-around. There was a nearby open grassy area on the right that would be perfect to let Bounty run in. He pulled her close, unclipped the lead and found a stick nearby that he gently threw such that Bounty excitedly chased after.

He called Bounty back and she obediently returned, stick in mouth. Getting the stick off Bounty proved more of a challenge but after a short period of playful tugging between them, Bounty relented as in fact, she knew the game was on. John threw the stick again, this time to a small clearing on the lefthand side of the pathway.

The stick bounced back.

Sadly, so did Bounty too, chasing after the stick but colliding with some invisible object. She whimpered back to be by John’s side, and he reassuringly stroked her, whilst also looking in bewilderment at where the stick and his dog had collided with thin air. There seemed to be something there. “It’s alright Bounty, it’s ok” he reassured the beagle, though he couldn’t be so reassured himself. He reached underneath a nearby bush and grabbed a large handful of dirt and grit which he threw in the air in the direction where the stick and dog had collided. Sure enough, the small stones and mud particles settled onto some object that wasn’t even there!

A vertical shelf seemed to appear with a semi-circular underside. Below that was another semicircular section with six angled protrusions hanging downward from it.

The 6 protrusions were equispaced where they joined the circle, though the angles narrowed until they all reached a common central area. Like spokes on a wheel thought John and realised that, although it was at his chest height, it did indeed appear to be a wheel. John carefully moved forward and touched the invisible object. It felt cold and metallic. He carefully moved himself along to the left side, dragging his hands along maintaining a feel of a surface. After a few steps, the surface fell away and John groped to find it again, now angled at 90 degrees to the prior surface. He’d found the front edge John assumed. Or maybe back. He grabbed more dirt and threw it all at the new surface. That too revealed a circular section but one slightly above his chest and on the panel that he’d just discovered. John stepped back to assess what he was seeing. It was a train, parked here on the old railway’s path. Some form of ghost train.

After a few seconds John realised that didn’t make sense, as he assumed ghosts -if they existed, which he didn’t really believe in anyway- would not be solid. So with some shock and skepticism, he muttered, “What the hell are you?” The air in front of him seemed to shimmer and all the dirt and stones began to fall off.

“Ugh, you’re getting me all dirty” said a deep metallic voice in mid air, “plus it tickles”. John looked around. “Who said that? Is this some setup or some’at?” He’d seen enough TV shows where they’d been able to create pranks on people with scenarios such as this. Though an invisible talking train was quite some effort, he must admit.

“Probably the ‘or som’at’ , whatever that means,” replied the voice and with that the air started to darken and coloured shapes formed in the air in front, revealing the hidden object before John. It was indeed a train, but unlike anything John had ever seen. Its form had all the elements of an old fashioned steam-train, yet something about it looked futuristic and modern. Bounty started barking loudly at the train, clearly disturbed and unsettled. John didn’t blame his dog for being scared.

“What on Earth are you?” He finally managed to ask.

“Ah”, replied the train, “actually nothing on Earth. I’m an autonomous robotic vehicle. Well…” and as it spoke sections of the train started to move and dislodge, panels swung out and up, whole portions moving inside, around and out, until eventually where the train had been stood a giant bipedal mechanical form,

“…well actually I’m an autonomous robotic lifeform. ‘Autobot’ for short”. Bounty was now hysterical and John kneeled down to stroke her and try to provide some calm, though the very comfort of his dog being nearby was like some comfort to himself. “It’s ok Bounty, it’s just.. it’s just .. a giant robot” John said, somewhat incredulous. A thought came back to him from something it had said, “ You said ‘actually nothing on Earth’- you’re an alien then?”

“My race is a mechanical based life-form with an ability to camouflage ourselves with a secondary or sometimes tertiary form as a way of a disguise. We’re called Transformers”.

“So what’ya doing here?” John retorted.

“I’ve just dropped some of my fellow Autobots here for a reconnaissance mission.”

“Reconnaissance mission? There’s more of you?”

“Yes, sadly some of our enemies are believed to be in the area and we’re trying to determine where and why.”

“Enemies? Robot enemies? Here in Bolton?”

“Yes.” replied the Autobot in a very matter-of-fact tone.

“What I don’t get, though, why did you pretend to be a train?”

“My information said it would be an applicable alt mode based on the area. For some reason my information was nearly 200 years out of date. I don’t really understand why. Plus, I’ve only just recently acquired this additional train form. Normally, I’m an interplanetary vehicle. A shuttle if you like, hence my name Galaxy Shuttle.”

“That’s not particularly creative,” muttered John starting to come around to the fact he was conversing to a giant robot train thing.

“And you are?”

“John.”

There was a slight pause. “Not a very creative name either, it’s one of the most common names in the UK—“ John cut him off from his Wikipedia-esq fact quoting “Yes, alright smart-arse! It’s in the family. My Dad was a John, his Dad and so on.”

“Oh”. Replied Galaxy Shuttle.

“I probably need to hide again,” he eventually added. John nodded. “You mustn’t tell anyone you’ve seen me.”

“Tell anyone I’ve seen you?” He shouted, “they’ll think I’m barking mad! The family already thinks I’m going bloody senile. It’ll look good when I walk in wi’t’dog and say I’ve seen a giant bloody robot train!”

“Very well, thank you for your discretion, John,” and with that he changed form back to the train and started to disappear once more.

“It’s been a pleasure to meet you John and Bounty”.

“Yeah, likewise I think” John pondered. Once he heard no reply and saw no further movement, he turned to head back down the path he’d walked up.

“Come on Bounty, I need a cuppa tea and a sit down!” And as he stroked his damp beared, he remembered he would need to book an appointment at ‘Stan’s the Barbers’.

————

We’re on! This is the official prequel to “The Alternates” chapter 1- coming soon! Based on my home town, this additionally created prequel echos a discovery I made regarding the historic train lines near where my parents live.

In a visit this last February, I walked this route and ended up back near my old school! The images are from the actual route. John and Bounty are AI created though photoshopped into the images. Galaxy Shuttle photographed by myself and photoshopped into the images.

All characters are Hasbro’s / Takara Tomy’s Transformers Franchise. All text and imagery are my own.

Bounty is in memory of my pet beagle Bonnie.